Quit Smoking. Brush up my Spanish Language skills. Stop rewarding myself with a full bottle of wine after every time I exercise.
Hello Resolven...
These are all ways I could improve myself. But let’s be honest: I don’t smoke that much. Wine tastes good. Mi español está más allá de ayudar. Huh?
Anyway, for the last year-and-a-half, I’ve had this knot of stress sitting somewhere between my soul and kidneys. The source is readily apparent, born of annoyance, contempt and incredulity. The source is Sarah Palin. There’s a simple solution to eradicate this source of stress from my life: For 2010, I’m giving up Sarah Palin.
The timing of my resolution coincides perfectly with Palin’s move to Fox News, perhaps the most predictable hiring since Quaker Oats nabbed Wilford Brimley. Or as the newswire on avclub.com appropriately read: Fox News Hires Sarah Palin As Commentator Because Of Course They Do.
patriot
Articulating why Palin bothers me is not difficult. If you search the site archives, you’ll find many previous manifestations of my disdain. It’s obvious Palin fits the mold of many leaders of the Far Right: a media creation great at simultaneously vilifying the media and selling her self-righteous, faux-populist image; while maintaining a dangerous unfamiliarity and lack of knowledge about public policy, foreign affairs, and any culture outside of Palin’s so-called, “real America.” (See Presidents #43 and #40)
In fact, it was the “real America” bullshit that probably ignited my dislike for her. Stupidity and ignorance I understand. Hell, I can relate. However, her contempt for those not like her (urbanites, Eskimos, etc.) is palpable and disgusting. Her villainization of government employees is Reagan-esque. By Palin’s own definition, the 9/11 attacks weren’t even perpetrated on “real america.” So instead of warmongering about countries you know nothing about, maybe you should fucking zip it.
I give Ms. Palin credit for managing her image. She’s a perfect fit for Fox News. She has cultivated her image, manipulated her followers, and is collecting some serious coin. As a more-seasoned Carrie Prejean, she plays the victim perfectly. Softball questions from Katie Couric or Charlie Gibson are quickly labeled “gotcha” questions from a “liberal” media, only because she can’t answer them. She uses her beauty pageant and newscaster experience to deflect any valid criticism as unfair, and nonsenically answers most other questions in common clichés and colloquialisms. She promotes “her” book via facebook + lifestyle shows, refusing to talk to actual journalists outside the Fox News bubble. Amusingly, in one of her many interviews with the sycophantic fluffers of Fox News, Palin couldn’t even give Glenn Beck a straight answer:
BECK: Who’s your favorite founder?
PALIN: Um… you know… well, all of them, because they came collectively together with so much–
BECK: Bull crap. Who’s your favorite founder?
PALIN: –diverse. So much diverse opin–So much diversity in terms of belief but collectively they came together to form this union.
She ended up answering “Washington,” while simultaneously letting it be known that she didn’t like the question. In fairness, Washington is my favorite founding father too. However, I’m not sure why she was so terse. I would consider that a lightweight topic for a political entertainment show, or a 6th grade US History class.
Anyway………………
While politicians are almost universally full of hypocrisy, it’s really hard to compete with Palin:
- She rails against “big government” and “socialism,” while formerly presiding over the country’s most socialist government.
Republicans in Congress this June united to defeat a proposed windfall tax on oil companies, deriding it as a bad idea that would discourage investment in U.S. oil exploration.
Things worked out far differently in the GOP stronghold of Alaska, a state whose economic fate is closely tied to the oil industry.
Over the opposition of oil companies, Republican Gov. Sarah Palin and Alaska’s Legislature last year approved a major increase in taxes on the oil industry — a step that has generated stunning new wealth for the state as oil prices soared.
And…
Palin’s administration last week gained legislative approval for a special $1,200 payment to every Alaskan to help cope with gas prices, which are among the highest in the country.
Bah! Socialist! And Like Beck, she supported Bush’s TARP bailout before she was against it. (just like the “Bridge to Nowhere.”)
- She indignantly chastises anyone who doesn’t pay strictly positive attention to her family, while conveniently using them as props to advance her own interests.
whoa, whoa! Cashiers' check first, then leave us alone.
To wit…
The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society,” whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.
And
“Concerning Letterman’s comments about my young daughter (and I doubt he’d ever dare make such comments about anyone else’s daughter)”
See that?! Letterman would never make a joke about anyone else. How dare he?! Leave my kids alone! My body my choice! (oh wait, that’s not it) My kids are off limits…Until Barbara Walters comes by. When’s that? 2 p.m.?
I could go on and on, but it doesn’t matter. Why? Her critics recognize all this shit, and her supporters simply don’t care. As long as she passive-aggressively blames “others,” couches everything in folksy language, and claims a sort of divine inspiration, Palin’s “real American” supporters could care less what policies she supports or what she actually stands for, as long as she keeps feeding them vague, populist bullshit.
Palin has legions of blind followers. People are overcome with tears during her book tour. From Going Rogue Ghostwriter Lynn Vincent,
The room is supposed to be private, but obviously someone leaked, and before we can even be properly introduced, there’s a mob outside. One guy has photos of aborted fetuses he wants her to sign for Operation Rescue. Another guy, in a golf shirt, yells, “The magic Negro is making my money disappear, Sarah!” An elderly woman is weeping, pleading for SP to sign a photo for her grandson, who was wounded in Afghanistan.
Certainly, Obama has his share of true believers as well. But there’s one key difference: Sarah Palin is a quitter. She has quit almost everything she has ever started. She has never done anything to demonstrate that she doesn’t act solely out of self-interest.
And to take a page out of Palin’s book, I’m goin’ rogue. I’m quitting Sarah Palin.
That is not to say I will ignore Palin forever. Unlike some liberals who scoff at the idea of Palin’s political future, I think she’s a formidable figure. This country elected fucking George W. Bush. Twice. While I doubt she will ever be president, she is as important as any GOP member at the moment. As Nate Silver points out in his 10 Reasons That Sarah Palin Could Win the Republican Nomination:
Now then, do I think Palin is the favorite to win the Republican primary? Not necessarily. She’s certainly not the majority favorite and perhaps not the plurality favorite, depending on who runs. And you could fairly easily come up with a set of ten bullet points to argue against Palin’s chances. But I think she’ll run, and I think it would be a mistake to discount her chances too significantly given the makeup and mood of the Republican primary electorate.
Palin’s new position at Fox News will exponentially increase the amount of Palin-BS dumped on Americans. If you want, that’s something you can try to fight or put up with for the next 11 months. Not me, cuz I’m not playing this round.
So, to former Governor Palin, mother, wife, pundit, fraud, I say…til next year.
Gratuitous World 