Speaking of self-parodies, Sarah Palin can’t help herself. In particular, her new appointee for Alaska Attorney General Wayne Anthony Ross is a real treat.
I donkey punch with that hand.
The anti-gay, anti-Eskimo, anti-environment, anti-gay Eskimo environmentalist Ross is poised to become the top lawyer in Alaska. And in the state with the worst rate of sexual assault in the Union, Ross previously aired some views to the advocacy group “DADS” that may deter any young female from moving to Fairbanks for the long winter nights.
“If a guy can’t rape his wife…who’s he gonna rape”
Ahh, to be a victim in Alaska. Quite a gentleman. If he doesn’t get approved by the legislature, he can always get a job with the Taliban. And of course he has something to say to the woman with the black eye that doesn’t listen:
“There wouldn’t be an issue with domestic violence if women would learn to keep their mouths shut.”
Yikes. In fairness, if you follow the links above you will see Ross denies making these comments, though he also doesn’t seem to remember a meeting that clearly took place.
Anyway, after reading between the lines, I sat down with Mr. Ross (in my imagination) to pick his brain about various legal issues facing Alaskans.
GW: Mr. Ross, drinking and driving is a huge problem in Alaska. What do you believe is most central to the rise in DUI arrests over the last decade?
ROSS: Stop Lights.
GW: Great. If I could just switch gears for a second – Another issue facing not only Alaska, but the entire nation is school violence. What do you see as the primary cause of these tragic school shootings?
ROSS: Certainly the teaching of evolution is what created an environment for these godless bastards to commit these heinous acts. Just ask Tom Delay.
GW: Tom Delay did what now?
ROSS: He agrees with me regarding the connection between the teaching of evolution and school violence.
GW: Um, ok. Along those lines, I guess I just have one final question. In your experience, what do you see as the number one cause of pedophilia?
ROSS: Sexy kids.
GW: Thank you for your time.
Gratuitous World 