Mascot Dong Costume Now Available For Some Alpha Furry To Purchase

The Amarillo Sox got a new costume for their mascot the other night. It lasted one evening…

 

Pick it up on EBay – Starting Bid $5,000.  

Redemption Schlong

There’s an epic battle on the 3rd Coast this weekend. I can’t really formulate any articulate thoughts about it. Just thinking about 24 hrs from now makes the vein in my forehead throb like that extra tendon in Clay Matthew’s neck. (What the hell is going on there?)

Anyway, following the Steelers defeat of the Ravens, this week saw the predictable sports’ media deluge of the same old ‘redemption stories’ regarding alleged rapist Ben Roethlisberger.  On Wednesday, the front-page of both ESPN’s + CBS’ websites trotted out the same old tired cliches and missteps in logic. The predictable thesis is that victory on field somehow proves athlete X is a changed person.

I didn’t know people were questioning the effect Roethlisberger’s off-field behavior had on throwing a football or reading the Ravens’ Defense.  He might not be the NFL’s best QB (clearly Jay Cutler), but the big fella has lead the Steelers to 2 Super Bowl victories, throwing big passes at big moments during the process.

And then he got aggressive with any 19-year old in his periphery.

The same stories were written after Michael Vick’s resurgence and the same thing will happen when Tiger wins his next major (I predict 2011). The hacks probably have it in the can already.

Of course the fans will give players an immense amount of moral latitude if successful on the field. Same goes for coaches. Do the sycophantic NFL writers promoters have to do the same? Can we get news? Can we get on-field analysis? Or are these “redemption” stories just too easy to mail in that they can’t resist?

More sports please!

and oh yeah, GO BEARS!

http://deadspin.com/5740217/golden-voice-and-inspirational-speech-set-up-green-baychicago-showdown

 

 

 

The Crimson Cried

Having trouble determining a rooting interest for tomorrow night’s BCS Championship Game? Well, if Alabama head coach and arrogant carpetbagger Nick Saban doesn’t make you want to throw on some burnt orange apparel, this might: [via deadspin]

Tomorrow night’s forecast for Birmingham, Alabama, calls for freezing temperatures and snow, possibly mixed with rain. It’s a Southern TV meteorologist’s wet dream. Which is why everyone is preemptively pissed at them for interrupting the BCS Championship with storm updates.

Sounds like some pretty bad weather. Maybe they’ll have to cancel classes at University of Alabama, located in nearby Tuscaloosa.  What’s that? The public university already cancelled 3 days of classes for a 3 hour sporting event? Excellent. I guess when your institution is ranked between SUNY-Stony Brook and UC-Riverside, you’ve earned a post-Christmas-break break. Anyway…

Keep in mind, these break-in weather updates have not actually taken place yet…but [esteemed local journalist] Paul Finebaum, scared the bejezzus out of everyone by convincing them that the game interruptions would definitely happen and allegedly called ABC weatherman James Spann a “fraud.”

Yet, the station was besieged with “personal, nasty threats” for not yet doing something that they never said they would do in the first place. The station has been forced to repeatedly promise that they won’t steal one second of precious football from the locals’ picture boxes.

Bah' Finebaum!

Look, all America can agree that the job of weatherman is easily mocked (Keep fuckin’ that chicken!). And while I understand that in Alabama, “U of A sports journalist” probably ranks right between Governor and Cross Burner; it’s still pretty ridiculous to preemptively blow you fucking stacks over the possibility of a 5-second interruption, or some flashing graphic in the corner of the screen. God forbid some poor sap working 3rd-shift gets informed about driving conditions.

I hope there’s an ice storm and a huge fucking blackout in Birmingham. Good luck, Mother Nature. (half-hearted) Hook ’em Horns…