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Texas Messes With Liberty – Update

Posted by Matt on October 15, 2009

Yesterday, I wrote about Rick Perry’s involvement in the cover-up of the execution of an innocent man

In order to divert attention from the actual facts of the case, Perry responded yesterday.  According to the Tribune:

Gov. Rick Perry, seeking to defuse an election-season controversy over the 2004 execution of Cameron Todd Willingham, described Willingham on Wednesday as a “monster” and “bad man” whose conviction in the deaths of his three daughters was sustained “every step of the way” by the courts.

Perry lectured reporters for being preoccupied with “all these sideshows” instead of looking at the facts that led to Willingham’s conviction. He challenged journalists to “go back and look at the record here because this is a bad man.”

Perry described Willingham as “a guy who murdered his three children, who tried to beat his wife into an abortion so that she wouldn’t have those kids.”

He also suggested the media have paid too much attention to Beyler’s report, which he said is being used as “propaganda” by opponents of the death penalty.

Perry is essentially saying…”please look at the facts of the case – just not the exculpatory facts.”

I often criticize the Chicago Tribune (particularly its Editorial Page), but want to give it its due.  In an era where investigative journalism has all but disappeared, the Tribune has been on point with this story.

It’s pretty clear Perry is attempting to cover up the execution of an innocent man. Perry is soulless. He offers no proof of Willingham’s guilt, just that he was a “bad guy.” (note: in extensive interviews with his Widow, she does say Willingham beat her (she beat him as well) but I’ve read no mention of the “abortion” pretext Perry so shamelessly trots out in order to pander to that segment of his constituents). Regardless, this has nothing to do with the crime for which he was executed and his Widow has said over-and-over that Willingham never laid a hand on his kids.

I wonder if Rick Perry thinks Rick Perry should be executed because Rick Perry is obviously a despicable, “bad man.”

The State of Texas executed an innocent man and Perry doesn’t give a shit.  To sign a Petition demanding Perry acknowledge Willingham’s innocence, please click here.

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The Sixth Amendment By Any Other Name

Posted by Matt on October 8, 2009

True to his word during the campaign, it looks like President Obama will get the Guantanamo Bay prison facility closed by some time early next year.  That’s good.  However, despite this appropriate course of action, this move seems mostly symbolic.  The President refuses to discontinue the incredibly un-American Bush policy of “preventative detention.”

The Obama administration has decided not to seek legislation to establish a new system of preventive detention to hold terrorism suspects and will instead rely on a 2001 congressional resolution authorizing military force against al-Qaeda and the Taliban to continue to detain people indefinitely and without charge, according to administration officials.

In case you forgot, the 6th Amendment reads:

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district where in the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

I have discussed preventative detention policies at length, so I will not rehash the particulars of Guantanamo – the many prisoners rounded up not on the battlefields, but because they are political opponents of our “allies.” The fact that the longest amount of time someone can be held without charges in any other western democracy is 28 days (U.K.).  The fact that these prisoners are not afforded access to lawyers, or contact with family members.

Remember the (appropriate, yet hypocritical) indignation in this country when the Iranian-American journalist was held in Iran for 3 months? Maybe this high-powered judgment should be turned inward.  I saw Madeleine Albright speak last night at the Chicago Council on Global Affairs.  Addressing the topic of torture and related constitutional issues, she said, “America is an exceptional country.  It’s doesn’t mean we should make exceptions.”

I don’t dismiss the lingering effect of 9/11.  Our leaders need to do everything in their power to prevent future attacks.  However, Americans should respect the refractive nature of policies such as rendition, torture, and preventative detention.  There is not a finite amount of terrorists in the world. As long you give them reason to feel oppressed and hated, the crazy, manipulative, End-of-Days Muslim extremists will be able to find unemployed, alienated youth to carry out murder on their behalf.  Selling out constitutional principles is not only un-American – it’s unsafe.

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I’m Glad Lance Armstrong Will Lose. Am I Pro-Cancer?

Posted by Matt on July 24, 2009

I couldn’t care less about cycling.  Like inappropriate groping, I feel it’s something better left to the Spanish and Italians.

But I tend to get queasy when Lance is in the news.  Lance likes (positive) attention and the media usually obliges him, whether he be riding a bike or diddling an Olson twin.  However, prepare for the cycler’s wrath if you dare question or criticize him.

Bill Gifford’s fantastic Slate article (Jerkstrong: How Lance Armstrong is like Sarah Palin.) illuminates the odd side of narcissistic, juiced up adulterer.  For those of you that don’t know, Armstrong recently returned to racing. The return was tumultuous to say the least:

Upon his return, Armstrong announced that he would subject himself to “the most advanced anti-doping program in the world,” a strict regimen of tests whose results would be posted online for all to see. Despite Armstrong having told reporters that “it’s under way,” the program was scrapped before it got started after being deemed too expensive and too complicated. Rather than trying to erase the significant, lingering doubts about his own ethics, Armstrong resorted to Twittering sarcastically whenever he got drug tested, as if he were being specially persecuted. In truth, he is not: Cycling has vastly increased its drug testing this year, and the sport is devoting more attention to higher-profile riders—not just the ones named Lance.

At the same time, he’s used cancer to help him avoid questions about the sketchy past and dubious sponsors of his own Astana team, at least one of whose members remains under serious suspicion of doping. When a well-respected Irish sportswriter, Paul Kimmage, questioned Armstrong’s support for convicted dopers Ivan Basso and Floyd Landis, he snarled, “I am here to fight this disease.” Armstrong then added, “You are not worth the chair you are sitting on.” (You can watch full video of the exchange here.)

I don’t dismiss the positive work Lance has done for cancer awareness and fund-raising. Similarly, I don’t dismiss the effect Sarah Palin has had on the bigoted, far-right fringe.  But is it really about cancer research? Or is it really about Lance? Gifford writes:

Lance actually shares a few traits with Sarah Palin. They both react to any criticism with extreme defensiveness. They demonize their enemies while at the same time cultivating nonstop melodramas that keep them in the news. And while they both periodically issue petulant threats to quit, you get the funny feeling that neither one is going away anytime soon.

This brings me to the Tour de France – Cycling’s month-long Super Bowl.  In anticipation of this grand event, Nike issued this weird ad, starring Lance. Here’s the essence of the ad (my comments in bold.):

Over somber piano music, we see black-and-white scenes of doctors at an operating table, cancer patients in hospital gowns, a bald man hooked up to a respirator, a man with one leg on a treadmill. All of this is intercut with scenes of Armstrong riding his bike. “The critics say I’m arrogant (you are),” Armstrong says. “A doper (yes). Washed up (almost). A fraud (certainly). That I couldn’t let it go (you haven’t).” Pause. “They can say whatever they want (I will). I’m not back on my bike for them.

He’s a victim of his critics. Poor guy. 

The ad also implies, disturbingly, that the cyclist’s “critics”—and that includes everyone who thinks he’s arrogant—are equivalent to cancer. It is apparently not enough for him to ride his bike and lead a positive campaign. He can’t help but go after his detractors at the same time. And you thought Sarah Palin was divisive.

Anyway, I’m not going to get into the x’s + o’s of cycling. Apparently, cyclers ride in teams and help eachother out with the wind-resistance and what-not. The likely winner, Alberto Contador, is a member of Lance’s team and widely regarded as the best cycler in the world. Will Lance have any choice but to share the spotlight?

When he was at the top of his game, Armstrong demanded total loyalty and subservience from his teammates. That’s not what Contador is getting from Lance. Take Monday’s stage of the Tour deFrance, when Armstrong ordered his teammates to ride hard on the front, leaving Contador behind. It worked, almost: The tactic not only showed Contador who is boss, but it nearly helped earn Armstrong another yellow jersey on Tuesday’s stage. If Armstrong had gotten the yellow—no matter that he stepped on his teammate’s back to get it—it would have marked a triumphal completion of his comeback, finishing the self-created narrative arc upon which every successful politician builds his career. In less than a year, he’s transformed himself from tabloid joke to cancer-conquering messiah. And if he does enter politics—after a year of fighting the press, demonizing enemies, and fending off personal scandal—at least he’ll be well-prepared.

Over the last week, Contador pulled away, almost ensuring victory. That makes me, Alberto, and presumably Cancer, very happy.

Lance is currently in 3rd (When will this godforsaken thing end? ). Will he be gracious in defeat? He gave us a preview when he grudgingly agreed to assist Contador:

“If we ride into Paris with the yellow jersey in the team, I’m cool with that,” Armstrong said. “I’ve got seven of them at home.”

Just in case you forgot.

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Rand-O

Posted by Matt on July 14, 2009

  • Good Music:  (1) The Phenomenal Handclap Band:  (self-titled album)  A-  (2)  Sin Fang Bous:  Clangour  A-  (3) Black Moth Super Rainbow:  Eating Us B+
  • If any child of mine has the chops, I will encourage said child to go into competitive spelling.
  • freerice.com:  More productive time-waster than facebook.
  • Joe Morgan is awful.  
  • Matthew Iglesias puts into words the disgust I feel watching Jeff Sessions question Judge Sotomayor about her Puerto Rican ancestry:

     I would pay good money to hear Sonia Sotomayor say, “Senator Sessions, I think it’s ironic to be facing these questions from a man whose judicial nomination was rejected by this very committee on the grounds that he’s a huge racist.”

  Amen.

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Glenn Beck: Where Fiction Is Reality

Posted by Matt on March 17, 2009

Conservatives love to use works of fiction as the bases and rationalization of their beliefs.  Whether it be “24,” Atlas Shrugged, The Manchurian Candidate, or pseudo-fictional works such as “The Passion” and  ”The Bible,”  facts are almost always universally subordinate to sensational and justifying fiction.  We can add a new one:  The X-Files.

Apparently, Glenn Beck’s ratings are through the roof after his move to Fox News.  It’s not surprising considering his core  audience tunes in for reinforcement of their fear, bigotry and outright looniness.  And boy, the looniness has flowed from Beck’s mouth like vomit from a drunk Irishman (Happy St. Pats!).  

The two clips below are as follows:

Glenn Beck promoting his show and his segment on the FEMA “concentration camps” where Obama is going to round up all the dissenters when he establishes his brand of socialist-totalitarianism-with-a-splash of baby-killing-fascist-marxism.


Beck states, “If you have any fear that we might be heading toward a totalitarian state, look out.  There is something happening in our country and it ain’t good.”  

And here is the 1998 movie, The X-Files:

 

While I don’t expect a delusional asshole who barely graduated high school to grasp the theoretical and practical differences of the scary words he constantly throws around at liberals, such as “socialism,” “fascism,” “totalitarianism,” and “anarchy,” I think he owes it to his viewers to keep his outlandish conspiracy theories as fresh as possible.  Maybe he can use the following on his next show:

“High School Musical:  A liberal conspiracy to queer up our kids?”

“Kung Fu Panda:  What can we do to prevent animated Chinese aggression?”

“Activia Yogurt:  Is the government keeping us close to the toilet for a reason?”

“Isn’t Carlos Mencia enough evidence that all Latinos should be deported?” 

“Subway’s $5 Foot-Long Ad Campaign:  Is the liberal fast-food establishment making us gay socialists?”

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Musical Reflections of a 30 Year Old (continued – Part II)

Posted by Matt on March 17, 2009

1984: Lost (Meat Puppets):  In 1984, the one dollar coin is introduced in Australia, likely replacing “koala ears” as the appropriate legal tender.  This song is off Meat Puppets II, a pretty fresh album I learned about 10 years later when I was into anything covered by Nirvana.

1985: Running Up That Hill (Kate Bush):  Smack in the middle of the 80s, Kate Bush released an album of quintessential 80s pop.  It’s not the worst sound in the world,  but didn’t last as long as Wrestlemania, another phenomena that debuted in 1985.  However, Kate Bush’s career did burn brighter + longer than most original Wrestlemaniacs, Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik included.

1986: Back in the High Life Again (Steve Winwood):  Unlike much of the music in the 1980s, this song endures.  Dare I say, this song inspires me. There, I said it.  Perhaps it inspired (or was inspired by) “Hands Across America,” the event that joined 5 million sweaty-palmed americans from NYC to Long Beach, CA in May, 1986.

1987:  When We Was Fab (George Harrison):  This song was “Fab” back when “fab” was a hip adjective.  Also “fab” in ‘87:  the Wack-Os at the Assemblies of God defrock fraudulent snake-oil salesman, and helpless diddler, Jim Bakker.  

1988:  Boyz-n-the-Hood (Easy-E): One of the best rap tunes ever. Easy was pretty solid. I bet he enjoyed 1988, but thought California v. Greenwood  (where the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police officers do not need a search warrant to search through discarded garbage) was straight bullshit.

1989:  Dirty Blvd. (Lou Reed):  According to always-infallible-wikipedia, this groovy tune contrasts the poor and the rich in New York City.  1989 was a landmark year for poor and rich everywhere.  In Beverly Hills, CA, Lyle and Erik Menendez shoot their wealthy parents to death in the family’s den.  In Stockton, CA, down-and-out self-hater Patrick Edward Purdy kills 5 children, wounds 30 and then shoots himself.  People couldn’t let go of the 80s. Take some deep breaths, crazies. 

1990:  Epic (Faith No More):  The video with the fish.  Creepy, yet hypnotic – like when Universal Studios Florida opened to the public that summer.

1991:  Hunger Strike (Temple of the Dog): Ok, I’ve really been looking forward to downloading this classic track. I have loved this song for 17 years, but I don’t think I’ve ever owned it.  Things are looking up.  Kind of like the Bulls, who won their first title in ‘91, with a 4 games to 1 trouncing of the Lakers.  Side Note:  It was a rough year for Magic, who, along with losing to the Bulls, also announced he had contracted the HIV later that year. 

1992: Let Me Ride (Dr. Dre): The grunge movement came along at a weird time for my age group.  Picture a bunch of pubescent 7th graders with changing voices trying to imitate Eddie Vedder.  Similarly, there are few things more comical than a bunch of white suburban tweens laying down verses from The Chronic in their parents’ basement…”Bodies being found on Greenleaf, with their fucking heads cut off - mutherfucka, i’m Carps.”  I choose not to revise history, and that was the early 90s.  Regardless, this is a groovy song off an awesome album.

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I Agree With This

Posted by Matt on February 24, 2009

Fox News “war games” the coming civil war

(updated below)

Bill Clinton’s election in 1992 gave rise to the American “militia movement”:  hordes of overwhelmingly white, middle-aged men from suburban and rural areas who convinced themselves they were defending the American way of life from the “liberals” and ”leftists” running the country by dressing up in military costumes on weekends, wobbling around together with guns, and play-acting the role of patriot-warriors.  Those theater groups — the cultural precursor to George Bush’s prancing 2003 performance dressed in a fighter pilot outfit on Mission Accomplished Day — spawned the decade of the so-called ”Angry White Male,” the movement behind the 1994 takeover of the U.S. Congress by Newt Gingrich and his band of federal-government-cursing, pseudo-revolutionary, play-acting tough guys.

What was most remarkable about this allegedly “anti-government” movement was that — with some isolated and principled exceptions – it completely vanished upon the election of Republican George Bush, and it stayed invisible even as Bush presided over the most extreme and invasive expansion of federal government power in memory.  Even as Bush seized and used all of the powers which that movement claimed in the 1990s to find so tyrannical and unconstitutional — limitless, unchecked surveillance activities, detention powers with no oversight, expanding federal police powers, secret prison camps, even massively exploding and debt-financed domestic spending – they meekly submitted to all of it, even enthusiastically cheered it all on.  

They’re the same people who embraced and justified full-scale, impenetrable federal government secrecy and comprehensive domestic spying databases conducted in the dark and against the law when perpetrated by a Republican President — but have spent the last week flamboyantly pretending to be scandalized and outraged by the snooping which Bill Moyers did 45 years ago (literally) as part of a Democratic administration.  They’re the people who relentlessly opposed and impugned Clinton’s military deployments and then turned around and insisted that only those who are anti-American would question or oppose Bush’s decision to start wars. 

They’re the same people who believed that Bill Clinton’s use of the FISA court to obtain warrants to eavesdrop on Americans was a grave threat to liberty, but believed that George Bush’s warrantless eavesdropping on Americans in violation of the law was a profound defense of freedom.  In sum, they dressed up in warrior clothing to fight against Bill Clinton’s supposed tyranny, and then underwent a major costume change on January 20, 2001, thereafter dressing up in cheerleader costumes to glorify George Bush’s far more extreme acquisitions of federal power.

In doing so, they revealed themselves as motivated by no ideological principles or political values of any kind.  It was a purely tribalistic movement motivated by fear of losing its cultural and demographic supremacy.  In that sense — the only sense that mattered — George Bush was one of them, even though, with his actions, he did everything they long claimed to fear and despise.  Nonetheless, his mere occupancy of the White House was sufficient to pacify them and convert them almost overnight from limited-government militants into foot soldiers supporting the endless expansion of federal government power.

But now, only four weeks into the presidency of Barack Obama, they are back — angrier and more chest-beating than ever.  Actually, the mere threat of an Obama presidency was enough to revitalize them from their eight-year slumber, awaken them from their camouflaged, well-armed suburban caves.  The disturbingly ugly atmosphere that marked virtually every Sarah Palin rally had its roots in this cultural resentment, which is why her fear-mongering cultural warnings about Obama’s exotic, threatening otherness – he’s a Muslim-loving, Terrorist-embracing, Rev.-Wright-following Marxist:  who is the real Barack Obama? – resonated so stingingly with the rabid lynch mobs that cheered her on.

With Obama now actually in the Oval Office — and a financial crisis in full force that is generating the exact type of widespread, intense anxiety that typically inflames these cultural resentments — their mask is dropping, has dropped, and they’ve suddenly re-discovered their righteous “principles.”  The week-long CNBC Revolt of the Traders led by McCain voter Rick Santelli and the fledgling little Tea Party movement promoted by the Michelle Malkins of the world are obvious outgrowths of this 1990s mentality, now fortified by the most powerful fuel:  deep economic fear.  But as feisty and fire-breathing as those outbursts are, nothing can match — for pure, illustrative derangement — the discussion below from Glenn Beck’s new Fox show this week, in which he and an array of ex-military and CIA guests ponder (and plot and plan) “war games” for the coming Civil War against Obama-led tyranny.  It really has to be seen to be believed.

Before presenting that to you, a few caveats are in order:  There is nothing inherently wrong or illegitimate with citizens expressing extreme anger towards the Government and the ruling political class.  There isn’t even anything wrong or illegitimate with citizens organizing themselves into a movement that — whether by design or effect — is threatening to entrenched elites.  If anything, we’ve had too little of that.  In fact, it’s only a complete lack of fear of a meek, passive and impotent citizenry on the part of political and financial rulers — a certainty that there will be no consequences no matter what they do — that could have given rise to the endless corruption, deceit, lawbreaking, destruction, and outright thievery of the last eight years.  A political and financial elite that perceives itself as invulnerable from threat or consequence will inevitably vest itself with more power and more riches.  That’s what we’ve had and, largely, still have.

But this Rush-Limbaugh/Fox-News/nationalistic movement isn’t driven by anything noble or principled or even really anything political.  If it were, they would have been extra angry and threatening and rebellious during the Bush years instead of complicit and meek and supportive to the point of cult-like adoration.  Instead, they’re just basically Republican dead-enders (at least what remains of the regional/extremist GOP), grounded in tribal allegiances that are fueled by their cultural, ethnic and religious identities and by perceived threats to past prerogatives — now spiced with legitimate economic anxiety and an African-American President who, they were continuously warned for the last two years, is a Marxist, Terrorist-sympathizing black nationalist radical who wants to re-distribute their hard-earned money to welfare queens and illegal immigrants (and is now doing exactly that).

That’s the context for this Glenn Beck “War Games” show on Fox News this week — one promoted, with some mild and obligatory caveats, by Michelle Malkin’s Hot Air.  In the segment below, he convened a panel that includes former CIA officer Michael Scheuer and Ret. U.S. Army Sgt. Major Tim Strong.  They discuss a coming “civil war” led by American “Bubba” militias — Beck says he ”believes we’re on this road” — and they contemplate whether the U.S. military would follow the President’s orders to subdue civil unrest or would instead join with “the people” in defense of their Constitutional rights against the Government (they agree that the U.S. military would be with “the people”):

They don’t seem very interested in bipartisanship and in transcending ideological divisions.

Immediately prior to that segment, Fox viewers were warned (as usual) that the unruly, uncivilized, violent Muslims are coming, and only Benjamin Netanyahu will be able to subdue them with a massive attack:

In one sense, all of this drooling rage is nothing more than the familiar face of extreme right-wing paranoia, as Richard Hofstadter famously described 45 years ago:

The paranoid spokesman sees the fate of conspiracy in apocalyptic terms—he traffics in the birth and death of whole worlds, whole political orders, whole systems of human values. He is always manning the barricades of civilization. He constantly lives at a turning point. Like religious millenialists he expresses the anxiety of those who are living through the last days and he is sometimes disposed to set a date fort the apocalypse. (“Time is running out,” said Welch in 1951. “Evidence is piling up on many sides and from many sources that October 1952 is the fatal month when Stalin will attack.”)

But it’s now inflamed by declining imperial power, genuine economic crises, an exotic Other occupying the White House, and potent technology harnessed by right-wing corporations such as Fox News to broadcast and disseminate it widely and continuously.  At the very least, it’s worth taking note of.  And I wonder what would happen if MSNBC broadcast a similar discussion of leftists plotting and planning the imminent, violent Socialist Revolution against the U.S. Government.

 

UPDATE:  Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs and “Pajamas Media”:

Glenn Beck: The End is Nigh . . . .

Is it irresponsible for Fox News to be airing this over the top, creepy alarmist stuff during a financial crisis? Well, yeah, I think so.

If someone like that – like this – thinks that Fox News is being irresponsibly, even dangerously, inflammatory, then that’s a pretty compelling sign of how far over the line they actually are.

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Musical Reflections of a 30 Year Old

Posted by Matt on December 19, 2008

Recently, a young lady generously gifted me $30 itunes gift card in recognition of my 30th  birthday.  She suggested it may be a good idea to get 1 song from each year of my life.  I thought that was an excellent idea.  And considering that (like President Bush) I spent much of my 20s in an alcohol-induced haze, it may be a smart idea to get some of these reflections down on paper.

The only issue is that I do own a lot of music, so most of the songs + albums I like, I already own. But we move forward nonetheless, starting in 1978, and praying I wasn’t conceived in the aftermath of a ”key party.”

1978:  Glory (Television):  This song truly kicks ass and may have been released in anticipation of my triumphant birth. From what I remember,  I was born in December.  2 weeks later, serial killer John Wayne Gacy finally confessed to his lawyers that he raped and killed 33 boys/men after months of denial to authorities.   Apparently, he lost the urge to kill after he heard about the beautiful young boy with the lopsided head born 2 weeks earlier in Grandrapids, Michigan…Too soon?

1979:  The Ballad of Lucy Jordan (Marianne Faithful):  This was actually written by Shel Silverstein, whose amazing books filled me with both wonder and an occasional nightmare.  The synth-pep of this song masks a depressing downer.  Little known fact:  this was the song that played in the background when Margaret Thatcher was sworn in as Prime Minister that year. 

1980: Romeo & Juliet (Dire Straits): As a child of the ’90s with a burgeoning comfort with his own sexuality, I was first exposed to this song through the Indigo Girls.  It gave me a feeling of warmth, yet not nearly as warm as how Richard Pryor must’ve felt when he burned his face freebasing coke in June, 1980.  Later on, I came to enjoy the Dire Straits’ original just as much.  Great to get this back in the catalogue. Thanks Jana!

1981: Tainted Love (Soft Cell):  Have you ever heard of Soft Cell? Me neither.  But I doubt anyone had heard of John Hinkley before he shot Reagan in the chest in March, 1981.  Yet their legacies carry on….

1982: Here I Go Again (Whitesnake):  In 1982, the family moved from Michigan to Kansas City, Kansas.  I’m sure this song was big there.  Maybe not “George Brett” big, but probably “Dan Quisenberry” big.  Certainly, many midwesterners suffered from what “Quiz” once referred to as “sore armness” from too much air guitar. 

1983: Soldier’s Things (Tom Waits):  At the end of 1983, the family moved back to Chicago, but this time to the suburbs.  And I came with!  This song reminds me of that song “these are a few of my favorite things,” but less obnoxious and more depressing.  Fun fact: On September 5, 1983, Tom Brokaw became lead anchor of the NBC news. And he still won’t go away.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Gratuitous Balls! NBA Preview – Part 4

Posted by Matt on October 28, 2008

 

 

 SOUTHWEST DIVISION

Despite being home to the NBA CHAMPION Celtics, the Eastern Conference is still bad.  Thus, it’s quite a breath of fresh air to preview the SW division – the best division in the NBA. And the Grizzlies.

 

 

Projected Order of Finish

1.  New Orleans- Chris Paul is as legit as any player in the NBA.  James Posey takes his punk, carpet-bagging ass to New Orleans to try to win his 3rd Championship in 4 years (w/ 3 dif. teams).  I think Peja is still sporting a crust-ache.

2.  San Antonio – Getting Old? Yes. But when they start paying attention around March, their solid offensive execution and tight defense will still present difficulties for the rest of the NBA.

82 games?

82 games? Are you kidding me? Duncan and his 4 teammates let themselves go in the offseason, but come April...

3.  Houston- A new team has to deal with Ron Artest, his psychotic behavior, and awful rapping skills.  Indeed, the young man’s psyche is fragile.  Yet the fragility of Yao and T-Mac will be what prevents this team from winning the conference.

4.  Dallas -  This roster would be legit – in 2004. 

5.  Memphis – Where to begin? Rudy Gay and OJ Mayo are talented young wing players, but if you combined their last names you’ll likely picture something less-than-appetizing.

NBA Superstar Superlatives – Southwest Division 

1.  The “He’s Only 23?” AwardDarko Milicic, Memphis:  Although he has been a bust after being drafted by the Pistons with the #2 overall pick almost 2 decades ago, Darko will be riding the bench in Memphis at the youthful age of 23.  And he’s not Dominican!

2.  Sharpest ElbowsTyson Chandler, New Orleans:  Jesus Christ! Get the hell out of the way when this lanky big man raises his arms.  Like garden-shears, the points of this man’s arms will take you out if you’re not careful.  Not since Bill Cartwright, have elbows been this sharp.  These are huge, sharp assets for the Hornets.

Tim Burton's next biopic.

Chandler's elbows.

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All I really need to know I learned at a Sarah Palin rally

Posted by Matt on October 17, 2008

Kudos to the post that brought this to my attention: here.

Yesterday, speaking to a crowd that surely included the Maine chapter of hate-filled crazies, Palin touched on a variety of issues, from how ”unpatriotic” Barack Obama remains to how “un-American” Obama remains.  (I won’t get into the ACORN stuff, but for an informative look at the myth of widespread voter fraud, and the absolute reality of GOP voter suppression, look here.)  

Palin addressed the crowd with the following: 

 ”We believe that America is not the problem, America is the solution” — said Obama has shown no desire for victory despite the fact that he spoke so frequently about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“It sure would be nice if, just once, Barack Obama said he wants America to win,” she said, as the crowd cheered.

Please Governor, go on….

“We are always proud to be Americans, and we don’t apologize for being Americans,” Palin added later.

FUCK YEAH!…Sorry, I got so caught up in the fervor, I lost my bearings. Anyway, I just want to briefly address the woman who introduced herself to non-Alaskans with a speech quoting Westbrook Pegler, one of the Right’s beloved racist, anti-semites.

Dear Governor Palin,

A few things. First, are these really the lessons that you teach your oddly-named children?  That when you are so blindly righteous, you don’t have to apologize or ask for forgiveness? Very Christian.

Second, please stop perpetuating the unattainable goal of victory in Iraq.  Obama doesn’t talk about “victory” because in order to meet goals and achieve “victory,” the stated objectives have to be met. 

Most don’t remember, yourself included, that we went to war because Iraq supposedly  possessed WMDs, and Saddam supposedly worked closely with al Qaeda. This was bullshit. As logic has it, if you’re stated objectives for invasion are bullshit, then they can not be achieved and victory is unattainable.  What is currently happening is only an attempt to mitigate our government’s deception and failure, and rationalize the invasion so W doesn’t have to admit a mistake and submit to a spanking by Barbara next Thanksgiving.

With that in mind, and thousands dead, you don’t think our country should apologize to the following people?  American troops, their families, slain Iraqi citizens, their families, the millions of Iraqi refugees we turn away, and many more still suffering, the American people that were lied to? No one? Bush doesn’t either.

Like you, I have no patience for the “Blame America First” Crowd.  However, the only thing more idiotic than blaming America for all the world’s ills, is failing to recognize the mistakes this country (and it leaders) makes on a regular basis.  How can you improve your society if it’s impossible to admit anything is wrong with the country? 

Should we not apologize for slavery? for Japanese Internment? for Walter Reed Hospital and denying our veterans proper (mental & physical) treatment? for reality television?  If there’s nothing wrong with this country, then why do you and your followers have so much contempt for Americans not like yourselves?  You essentially dismiss approximately 75% of this country as un-American.  By quick deduction, doesn’t that make you the “un-Americans?” Doesn’t that mean your faux-patriotism does not represent this country, and is in fact divisive and destructive?

By inciting the ignorant tools at your rallies, you’re rationalizing all their hatred and misconceptions.  By saying “we don’t apologize for being Americans,” you’re really saying, “you don’t have to apologize for being an ignorant fucktard who hates brown people.  You don’t need to read books (other than the Bible). You’re the real Americans!!! Fuck Obama and his latte-drinking, liberal, gay commie supporters! Rah Rah rah! Blood! Blood! Arggh!”  Because in your world, everything is black and white - there are no shades of grey, no need for reason or deliberation, no need for anything except the superficial generalities and dogmatic rhetoric. You’re with us, or you’re against us.

So I guess the overriding lesson I should take from your speech is the following: If your kids lie, cheat, steal, or kick grandma in the shin – all in the name of America - then don’t you dare let them apologize!  Do you want them to grow up to be considerate, accepting human beings?  Do you? Well then the terrorists have already won and you need some indoctrination (which can be found below…).

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Gratuitous World

Posted by Matt on September 25, 2008

 

Welcome.  While I can’t get into specifics, please trust that many excellent ideas were discussed at the launch party you weren’t invited to.  I can assure the reader that this site will regurgitate, recycle and bastardize all the best original ideas developed by others. Enjoy.

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